Don't Sweat the Small Stuff

(Lessons Learned on a Winter Trip)

Rabbi Michael L. Feshbach

Temple Anshe Hesed

Erie, Pennsylvania

It has been said that the basic goal, the primary task of religion is to bring a sense of purpose and perspective into our lives. If that is true, it is just one more reason why having a baby is a profoundly religious experience.

Last month we went on our first long trip with our (then) three month old. He was already a veteran airplane traveler, having flown from Erie to New York for Thanksgiving at the ripe old age of six weeks, and then to Washington to visit my parents over New Year's Weekend. But those were hops and jumps, short flights for quick stays.

Last month we went to Florida. It was a longer flight. It was for a longer stay. And we were staying with friends, not family. We were pretty nervous about the trip. Benjamin, of course, was oblivious. We packed, we went. And, for awhile, it seemed, everything went wrong.

Well, not everything. Just three things, any of which would once have consumed my attention and ruined my day in that hazy time of yesteryear called b.b. (before baby).

After all our careful plans about a car seat, we realized after the taxi ride to our friend's house at 1 AM that a part of our car seat was missing. No problem, we thought. We would order a new part next day air from the company. And we had originally requested a car seat with the rental car we were picking up the next day.

But the next day the rental people had no record of our request. And next day air decided to pick our delivery for their really-only-very-occasional and we're-sorry-there-must-be-some mistake inefficiency. Faced with the prospect of being all undressed (well, compared to the climate up north) with no place to go, we improvised. With more ingenuity than I once thought I had. And then friends lent us the part that was missing. And we coped.

And then my wife lost her wallet. So we called the police, and all our credit cards, and were reduced to trying to manage with the small amount of cash we had (except for my American Express card, which was a different number than my wife's). The airline said we really would need photo id to get back on the plane. We requested one of our cards to be sent emergency delivery by -- that's right -- next day air. The delivery time came... and went. So we put those commercials to the test, you know, the ones that say come to this wonderful place, but leave your anxieties behind, because they don't serve crabby people, and they don't take American Express. And we managed. And, after cancelling all our cards, my wife found her wallet.

Then the power went out. Just in ten houses. It'll be on in a couple of hours, the company said. Well, maybe five. Well, we're working on it. Okay, we no longer have an estimate as to when the power would go back on. Now, when the power goes off for that long up north, you leave the house. Especially with an infant. But it was Florida. So we lit candles. We improvised. The monitor wasn't working? We brought the baby closer, to where we could hear every cry. And I never thought that much of electric hair dryers to begin with. Sure enough, in no time at all, really (23 hours!), the lights went back on.

The seat. The wallet. The power. Any one of them would have been enough to have fouled my mood or ruined my day. But we had a constant reminder of Something More Important, just inches away most of the time. Perspective is everything.

And so we made lemonade out of the proverbial lemons. We coped. We adjusted. We managed. I wondered if I had become a new person.

Did I mention that it was in the '40's for much of the trip? And that the airline totally broke two of our bags on the way home?

We had a great time. I'd do it all over again.

Barukh Attah HaShem, Hanotein L'sechvi Vina L'havchin Bein Yom u'vein Laila. Holy One of Blessing, You Give the Rooster the Wisdom to Distinguish Between Day and Night. Holy One of Blessing, You Give Us the Power to Remember What is Important in Life.