Correspondence with a Reader

Rabbi Michael L. Feshbach

Temple Beth Am

Williamsville, NY

When I moved to Erie, I was consistently warned: be careful what you say to people. The town is so intertwined that surely if you comment on person A to person B, you will have no idea that A and B are related to one another.

Perhaps the Internet works the same way. Perhaps, in a larger sense, it is proving that we are all related. At the very least, it allows people who otherwise might never have met to hear -- and learn -- a great deal about each other.

Several months ago, I wrote the following words in this column:

"Item: In Muslim countries throughout the world, and in much of sub-Saharan Africa, the grisly ancient practice of female circumcision continues almost unabated despite laws banning it in many countries, with its practitioners solidly certain that destroying all women's ability to enjoy sexual intimacy is the key to reining in the wanton, libidinous passion of the flesh, and preserving fidelity in the home."

I must confess that I never expected a response from a Muslim reader. But, friends, I got one. A request, politely worded for the most part (except at the very end), for proof. And for clarification.

Here were the comments: I came from one the largest Muslim country in terms of population, and have travel parts of the Muslim world. As far as I have studied and observed, Female circumscision is pre-Islamic practice, which still exists in parts of Africa in the Muslim country Sudan. 

(a) Can the Rabbi provide evidence if he is correct? (b) Would he correct himself and his column as obviously he is wrong? (c) Or is it his intention to misinform people and slander the Muslims?

My response, in part, read as follows:

Dear XXX: I will certainly respond to your concerns in an upcoming column.

I was basing my statement on a source I have since misplaced (although it did concentrate rather heavily on Sudan, if I recall, and so the source itself may have painted an inbalanced picture.) If I further recall correctly, my source said that there were laws on the books against this practice in many countries, but that this practice was common in the countryside, and the laws are absolutely not enforced. As I said, I am not sure where I was reading this from (I think it was a feature in the Sunday New York Times magazine section, and therefore I no longer have it.) Anyway, I will clarify this, and I apologize for overgeneralizing in a way in which I should have known better.

I will a) try to find the source, b) indicate that I am NOT in a personal position to verify the accuracy of the source and c) indicate as strongly as possible that I meant no slander, and will retract any words that I cannot prove.

Having personally attended this country's first ever national Muslim -Jewish Convocation in Chicago several years ago, cooperation between our two faiths is something I believe in strongly. In my own presentations on Islam, I often make the statement that ORTHODOX Judaism, which I view as one of the authentic expressions of our religion (except in the immediate aftermath of Orthodox condemnations of non Orthodox Judaism), has more in common, in many ways, with Islam than with Christianity.

This reader and I have had further conversation since this time. I do not know much about him, neither where he lives, nor to what branch of Islam he belongs. I do not know much about his goals or beliefs. Nor do I know if he will see this promised clarification.

What I do know is that I meant no slander in my original words -- and I wonder what motives are behind seeing slander in them. After all, I clearly indicated that Muslim countries do have laws banning the practice -- which is, as the writer said, pre-Islamic -- and that the practice is not limited to Muslim countries. But perhaps I was not clear enough.

The Internet provides a fantastic opportunity to get to know people we otherwise could never have met. But we cannot see each others faces. We cannot perceive the gestures and the warmth, the lack of hostility oft conveyed more by tone than by tounge. This is why there are so many flames on the net. And so it is important to be careful.

For that reason, my next column will be devoted to an exploration --in positive terms -- of the relationship between Judaism and Islam. For the more we listen, the more careful we are in what we say, the more we can learn about one another, the better we will get along in the end.

In this was the computer is surely a gift from the God we share in common. As it is said: "Atta Notein Lahem da'as" -- "God, you give to human beings knowledge," or, left untranslated, "DOS". Or, as Abraham said to Isaac (or was it Ishmael): "God will provide the RAM, my son."

Now, if someone writes in defending the actual practice of female circumcision, I am prepared to stick by my position, culturally imperialist or not.

May we find a way to express our revulsion at the truly barbaric acts that remain in the world, without writing each other off, dismissing each or "dissing" each other as complete barbarians.